I miss my kids — support for fathers navigating parental alienation

Letter of the week: Hello, I am looking for a counsellor please. I need to talk to someone about my ex-partner taking my children away from me, moving to a location I don't know, with no access and no way to contact them. I have called hundreds of times to try and speak to my kids and I am told "they don't want to see me or talk to me." I have been accused of many things that are not true. There is no history of violence, no court orders forbidding me to see my kids, and no AVOs. I have not seen them for months — it has been 12 months since I have seen them. I am feeling down and want to get some support as I miss my kids and long for them. There is not much support for men. Finances are tough. I was referred to you. What can I do? Note: name, location and details of the original letter have been removed for confidentiality purposes.

Hi there. Thank you for reaching out. It must be hard, but asking for help is a start. You are right — there is not much support for men. Although there are one or two advocate groups that provide excellent support, I can email you this information.

False accusations are always difficult and hard to navigate. The truth is that anyone can make up any story about you without investigation. However, you do have legal rights as a father which you can pursue. I hope you have sound legal advice. According to the Family Law Act 1975: children have a right to know and be cared for by both parents, and children have a right to spend time and communicate with both parents. If your ex-partner is not allowing this, they are breaking the law, and the full weight of the law needs to be used to make sure you are able to see your kids. Again, I hope you have strong legal representation.

Make as much noise as you can — contact as many people as you can, from local police to your local or federal member, to get attention to your case, and even the media. Keep notes of all the attempts you make to contact your kids and the responses you receive. Buy them cards and gifts and keep them stored up for that day when you are able to see them again. This is something that will really answer a lot of questions your kids may have about the attempts you made to reach them. Get names and details of everyone you interact with in regards to your children. So important.

That is the limit of advice I can give in this format. For you personally — of course we have appointments available to you at no cost at all, and for as long as you need. Let's see if we can work to use this time apart from your children to look at bettering yourself, as we all have room to grow. We are excited to provide the support that you need, as often as you need it, as you travel through this season of such hardship.

Chin up, don't give up, and turn this opposition into opportunity. I will email you some further support. Thanks for reaching out. Go gently! — Maria